For the longest time, I have wanted to be a pilot. The way they dress, the title 'captain', travelling the world and being in the company of beautiful ladies, that's just a bonus. I think they're trained on how to speak and not just speaking but addressing the heart. They reassure passengers of safe travel even during a turbulent flight. That's who I wanted to be even before I knew what a career was.
Then there was a traffic police. Please note, TRAFFIC!!! These are people with immense power. By the raise of an arm, it doesn't matter how fast you are going, thou shalt halt. It's fascinating, isn't it? This guy is on his two feet but you will be driving a four-wheel drive or a twenty something wheel truck but you will stop nonetheless. That's huge power and responsibility. Not forgetting how in most movies they drive amazingly fast cars, save for those where the villain drives a faster car. This is where the idea of becoming a rally driver came in as I did not aspire to be a villain.
Whenever we traveled, I would convince my dad to sit with me at the front of the matatu. The purpose being for me to learn how to drive through observation. I would keenly look at how the gears were being shifted and the fascinating noise that followed but above all, the beautiful art of overtaking. Very beautiful. The speed governors were the only party poopers; they restricted the fun to only eighty kilometers per hour, who does that??? My father said it was for safety. The question in my head was always; if it's for safety then how come you'll hardly ever hear of a death case in rally cars? So it's safe to be a rally driver, I concluded to myself.
As I grew older, I realized that I am artistic. I drew anything that pleased my eyes or would get the attention of art lovers in the hope that someday, I would become the African Pablo Picasso. I was ten steps ahead of my peers. My works were the envy of every boy and girl my age and above, heck even my parents’ peers. With this came the realization that careers do not necessarily have to be office jobs; it just had to feed you. From then I started discovering my talents and claimed them based on how popular they were.
I was good in football, I want to believe I still am. I was given very many nicknames for it. One of the very notable ones was Zizou also known as Zinedine Zidane. He was and still is a legend as the current Real Madrid head coach. Football fanatics know what I mean but even though you aren't, you might remember the infamous headbutt which earned him a red card and cost his team the world cup. I wasn't given the name because of butting people but because he, and I, had admirable skills. Others include Inzaghi (legendary Italian skipper), Saha (French and former United player). I say this to emphasize my skill on the turf.
One day I woke up to "You shall not become a footballer or a Pablo Picasso or whatever his name is in my house". That was where my dreams were crushed, together with my heart. I went back to being a pilot. I thought I was safe from criticism till my cousin referred to them as elevated bus drivers. But how? All the aura and awe they possess and you call them bus drivers? I couldn't pick up the pieces of my heart even if I wanted to. I was then redirected to aeronautical engineering. I didn't know much about it, all I knew was that apart from a pilot, the only other two constants in a plane are the engines and an engineer to respond to any malfunction if it arises. I stand corrected but this meant that as an engineer I would fly as much as a pilot. Jackpot!!! So I was destined to be an engineer. What I didn't realize was there was only a diploma course in Kenya at that time and I needed a degree.
Confused is what I became. I didn't know what to do, know who I would become in future or who I really was. Who am I? Am I a footballer who draws and flies planes as he repairs them? Am I what my parents want or don't want me to be? Am I what my relatives and friends see in me or am I a sum total of all these which in all honesty don't add up. Who am I? Somebody help me, WHO AM I???? ¿¿¿¿
Author: Philemon Mutuma | Date Created2017-08-03 04:09:09 | Comments: 0