I have a friend with whom I like arguing a lot, and recently, I realized that we argue just because we want to force one of us to surrender to the other, but we basically always have the same ideas.
Me: I’m hungry, let’s find somewhere to eat. Where do you wanna eat?
Her: You’re always hungry. Let’s go to a place with the burger festival thingie
Me: Yeah, you must eat only where there are offers
Her: I was actually going to give you my free burger but I’ll save it for my dinner
Me: You won’t even finish it
Her: I will, I’ll finish it during dinner time
Me: I meant you won’t finish it now when we go
Her: But I’ll finish it eventually, and you won’t taste it
Me: Si I have my two. I don’t need yours!
Her: Si I’m also getting two but unlike you I’ll eat mine in shifts
Me: *sticks tongue out*
This is basically how all of our conversations go. Just so you know I ended up touching her second burger with my saucy hands so that she would not eat it. Yes, I’m a sore loser, so what?
Human beings care about so many things: we care about trees, animals, the environment, our careers, our houses, our cars, our schools; we care about so many things but most of all we care about each other. Animals may keep us company sometimes even more effectively than human beings but they can never empathize and understand us on the level that only another human being can. At the end of the day, as human beings, all we have is each other and ourselves especially because we are social beings.
Communication is a large part of being human beings. We communicate with each other and other species through our words, our actions, our gestures and even more through our inactions and the things that we do not express openly. Communication involves talking and listening then giving feedback to restart the process. Clearly, in my conversation with my friend Michelle, we can see that no one is particularly interested in listening to the other, so we always end up in some form of friendly banter because we want to. Talking is the easy part; listening is where the strong are found.
For the longest time, I talked to people, and talked and talked then talked some more, only to realize that when you actually look at it, no one is really listening to you. I was convinced that people are selfish and they like being listened to. You can reply, or choose not to and it will actually be fine, they will keep talking because they want to talk. Through talking people release, and unload and feel smart, and figure out problems and listen to themselves and bandage emotional and mental wounds, and unlock the past as they prepare for the future. Talking is definitely not selfless because you are releasing what has been threatening to burst out from you into a world full of other people who are so busy trying to reply and fill the world with more noise rather than sitting down to listen. If any life skill has helped me get where I am today, it is listening.
A life skill is basically anything you have worked to develop in order to help you be successful, in your own way, in your life and in others’ lives as well. You do not need any employment to know that listening is important. If you interact with plants, or animals, or people, or things, listening is so important. I like to expand listening to not just using your ears, but using all your senses to understand the world; being conscious. If you listen, the world is always telling you something, the people around you are always telling you something. The things around you are always speaking. All you need to do is listen.
Let us close our eyes after reading this to imagine the scenario I am painting out: you have broken a glass tumbler at home by mistake when you were trying to pour yourself some OJ (orange juice). Your mother rushes in and slaps you across the face and says, “Don’t you know how expensive those tumblers are? Break all of them then!” These are multiple messages being given, the obvious ones being that she is not impressed with your clumsiness and that she values those glasses, you should not break any more. The more hidden messages are that there is no money to buy such good tumblers right now; you have destroyed her set of tumblers so that when visitors come she has to give them different sets of glasses; dare you break even one more; I will need to get new glasses because this set is now incomplete, there goes my pedicure money. Another example, when you are vomiting, your body is telling you that you have eaten something that your body does not like and it needs to get out, so find out what you have already eaten that your body is trying to expel, rather than getting medicine to stop the vomiting.
The world around us is always trying to tell us something that will help us; always. Only the calm few really listen, understand and apply what is being said. To truly understand this world, listen to people when they talk, listen to God as you pray, listen to dogs when they bark and be ready to learn something new. You may have uncovered the most important life skill. When you listen, be quiet, because there is a reason why “listen” and “silent” have the same letters.
Author: Martie Mtange | Date Created2016-06-29 05:08:24 | Comments: 0